Post by Rook on Apr 2, 2010 2:21:38 GMT -5
This is probably REALLY late, and that's the first thing I apologize for.
(The second is that this is a really hammy, and long speech. Sorry. I always ramble.)
Earlier, maybe months earlier I would've also apologized for letting you guys down, but honestly, and I say that with the utmost gratitude, I don't think that's what happened..and even if it did, it's always been irrelavent.
When I first started avoiding the place, my reason really was that I didn't have any time, I had no lack of passion, just disappointment and a tight schedule. My disappointment was that my members had helped me fill in the frame for a brilliant world, and that world never seem to reach the potential it needed.
I can almost see Lucent, and it's always in my heart a metropolis. No matter how widely stretched, five or six constant people can't be a metropolis, especially when more time is invested in getting the people to stick together than trying to actually write.
The really big factor in killing my muse, my passion, for this place was that I LOVE the world I dreamed up for it so much. To that, I owe a lot to you guys for being my inspiration. But after I wrote that first Plot, the very first thing I wrote when I started this site, after I started writing as Rook in this setting this..'plot' for an RP was not only a tag line used to lure people in..
it became a story, it became a story so close to my heart, and so embedded in everything I am that I realized I HAD to write it, and it HAD to be exactly the way I wanted it. My main characters, my plot, wars and struggles, mythology and drama.
The problem is, RPG's are brilliant , they are a great way to come up with stuff, to think out loud, to interact and make friends. To write together, but their main problem is dependency.
Being dependent on other people to write YOUR story.
That kills a writer. When I started falling in love with my world, I started wanting something RPG's can't provide. Control. Control over an over reaching plot that was never going to happen. There would never be enough RPer's, willing to bend to my will The idea that things would fall into the pattern I wanted them to was selfish, the idea my huge over reaching plot would ever happen was simply fantastical.
There are so many wonderful characters and ideas here, but so many of them are not my own. I don't control them and I don't own them. I own Lucent, but I don't own the people that inhabit it, and that is the breathe of a city and a plot.
My plot could never become realized with so many different minds interacting,and even if I could form some sort of other plot, which was more collaborative and open (The Odyssian plot, if you will), there would never be enough people to contribute.
After the Odyssian plot...it all seemed pointless. I knew what I wanted. I knew the Secrets of the Gates, and I knew I have to actually write a story about it. I have to make Lucent my own, I have to make my own characters.
This is simply the truth, Lucent has become too important to me to stay in an RPG format.
It would be very ungrateful of me to remove the site however, after so many people have poured their heart and soul into making amusing and inspirational characters.
The details are the hardest part, the details you guys came up with..it's hard to fill. But I will replace them with unique ideas. I must. I love the secret of the Gates, I love my world, I love my story.
and I loved being an admin on the site, but when the joy starts to come from maintaining boards and changing the skin, and not writing, you've lost your goal.
I Will NEVER remove this site. If you guys still want it, it will always be here.
Any one of the people I've trusted in the past, Adeline, Vespa, Raron,you guys can have the site if it suits you.I
really don't want to deny anyone their playground.
Just because I have lapsed, dosen't mean there isn't something magical still to be had in this board, and I still love looking at this place, I poured a lot of effort into it's upkeep, it's coding, and some of the threads we wrote together will always be dear to me.
Your all so GOOD, and your my friends. I hope you remember that. You made it a lot of fun while it lasted.
I just wanted to let you guys know what my conflict with writing and participating here is. Even as we speak I'm drawing, I'm fleshing I'm writing about St. Lucent myself.
In some senses it's not satisfying in the way RP is, it's lonely, and it's difficult, and slow. But in other senses, I'm finally in control of my own story, and I'm slowly working on something I started when I first typed up the Plot for this place.
I have immense gratitude towards all of you, don't hesitate to IM me or email me or whatever. Whatever you need. Please don't delete your posts, don't do any of that.
maybe in the future I'll come up with something else. Some idea that NEEDS to be written collaboritively. I get the itch sometimes, the itch to create a board.
Invariably, I will, I hope you all join me again when/if I do.
It's been a blast.
-Rook
(The second is that this is a really hammy, and long speech. Sorry. I always ramble.)
Earlier, maybe months earlier I would've also apologized for letting you guys down, but honestly, and I say that with the utmost gratitude, I don't think that's what happened..and even if it did, it's always been irrelavent.
When I first started avoiding the place, my reason really was that I didn't have any time, I had no lack of passion, just disappointment and a tight schedule. My disappointment was that my members had helped me fill in the frame for a brilliant world, and that world never seem to reach the potential it needed.
I can almost see Lucent, and it's always in my heart a metropolis. No matter how widely stretched, five or six constant people can't be a metropolis, especially when more time is invested in getting the people to stick together than trying to actually write.
The really big factor in killing my muse, my passion, for this place was that I LOVE the world I dreamed up for it so much. To that, I owe a lot to you guys for being my inspiration. But after I wrote that first Plot, the very first thing I wrote when I started this site, after I started writing as Rook in this setting this..'plot' for an RP was not only a tag line used to lure people in..
it became a story, it became a story so close to my heart, and so embedded in everything I am that I realized I HAD to write it, and it HAD to be exactly the way I wanted it. My main characters, my plot, wars and struggles, mythology and drama.
The problem is, RPG's are brilliant , they are a great way to come up with stuff, to think out loud, to interact and make friends. To write together, but their main problem is dependency.
Being dependent on other people to write YOUR story.
That kills a writer. When I started falling in love with my world, I started wanting something RPG's can't provide. Control. Control over an over reaching plot that was never going to happen. There would never be enough RPer's, willing to bend to my will The idea that things would fall into the pattern I wanted them to was selfish, the idea my huge over reaching plot would ever happen was simply fantastical.
There are so many wonderful characters and ideas here, but so many of them are not my own. I don't control them and I don't own them. I own Lucent, but I don't own the people that inhabit it, and that is the breathe of a city and a plot.
My plot could never become realized with so many different minds interacting,and even if I could form some sort of other plot, which was more collaborative and open (The Odyssian plot, if you will), there would never be enough people to contribute.
After the Odyssian plot...it all seemed pointless. I knew what I wanted. I knew the Secrets of the Gates, and I knew I have to actually write a story about it. I have to make Lucent my own, I have to make my own characters.
This is simply the truth, Lucent has become too important to me to stay in an RPG format.
It would be very ungrateful of me to remove the site however, after so many people have poured their heart and soul into making amusing and inspirational characters.
The details are the hardest part, the details you guys came up with..it's hard to fill. But I will replace them with unique ideas. I must. I love the secret of the Gates, I love my world, I love my story.
and I loved being an admin on the site, but when the joy starts to come from maintaining boards and changing the skin, and not writing, you've lost your goal.
I Will NEVER remove this site. If you guys still want it, it will always be here.
Any one of the people I've trusted in the past, Adeline, Vespa, Raron,you guys can have the site if it suits you.I
really don't want to deny anyone their playground.
Just because I have lapsed, dosen't mean there isn't something magical still to be had in this board, and I still love looking at this place, I poured a lot of effort into it's upkeep, it's coding, and some of the threads we wrote together will always be dear to me.
Your all so GOOD, and your my friends. I hope you remember that. You made it a lot of fun while it lasted.
I just wanted to let you guys know what my conflict with writing and participating here is. Even as we speak I'm drawing, I'm fleshing I'm writing about St. Lucent myself.
In some senses it's not satisfying in the way RP is, it's lonely, and it's difficult, and slow. But in other senses, I'm finally in control of my own story, and I'm slowly working on something I started when I first typed up the Plot for this place.
I have immense gratitude towards all of you, don't hesitate to IM me or email me or whatever. Whatever you need. Please don't delete your posts, don't do any of that.
maybe in the future I'll come up with something else. Some idea that NEEDS to be written collaboritively. I get the itch sometimes, the itch to create a board.
Invariably, I will, I hope you all join me again when/if I do.
It's been a blast.
-Rook
