Angels Story Writing Contest #1

[light]

For those who were wondering, yes, I made Jamie pregnant in the story. Whether or not this will come true in the future, we shall see. Even I don't know what my characters are going to do, they're very unpredictable and frustrating...

[dargan]

That story is awesometastic! I've got ADD, and read that without getting sidetracked, which is amazing!

(Vice seemed a little bit more placid than she probably would have been in that sort of situation, but its still awesome ) btw, i'm glad you like her.

[light]

Thanks for letting me know, I'll fix it right away, I want to correctly portray the characters after all...

[Rook]

Come on guys, hurry up, we need more submissions!

[Vespa]

I'm so doing it over this weekend Rookums!

I just have a freakin flash animation to do by tomorrow. *Dethed* x3x

[Rook]

Contest date has been extended a week.

[Vespa]

OMG THANK YOU ROOK!

@3@

[Rook]

No problem, but I expect results this time! XD

[Vespa]

OH THERE WILL BE!

I have 316 words from last weekend and I'm getting all my assignments done this time. >.<

I'm just not sure how it's gonna end >.>;

[Vespa]

Flailing fingers whirled the last screw in before they abandoned the poor tool letting it clank onto the work table. Exuberantly a hand thrust to grab the prototype and raise it erect above him like a newly crafted blade. His stance was stoic, poised and hailed of his intended brilliance of this newly fangled object as it waggled loosely in the air as would a staff of Jello. You could almost see the beams of brilliance radiating from the shaft, or so he would hope. Dimitri's eyes finally pealed from his invention in order to acquire a test subject. Alas, it seemed the entire Armory was vacant but for this small, determined soul and his creation. His effervescent grin sizzled down to a frown but just before he actually sank into his melancholy disappointment a gruff voice harkened unto him.

“Still tryin' ta get that thing ta work huh?”

The slimy little ball of glee registered only a voice. He didn't yet care who it belonged to but that there was someone to prove the perfected supremacy of his invention. Dimitri was all the more excited to find his friend and client Rook there. The slick old scratch managed to saunter in casually with little but the sound of air moving. Albeit not difficult to sneak up on the strangely hairy eel.

“I rerouted the power so that silly surge won't happen--you wanna try it out!?”

A giddy trot lunged the little critter a bit too close to the visiting ArchAngel. Dimitri's 'weapon' incessantly waggled mere centimeters before his face, bursting firmly into Rook's comfort zone. He almost went cross eyed before he took a step back and gawked at the excited scratch before him.

“Uh...no I think I'll pass on that. Actually I was just gonna let ya know she jammed.” From his holster he pulled out his Dimitri issued pistol and offered the wretched beast to it's creator.

A horrified screech echoed the Armory walls as Dimitri coddled his poor baby. He would have just as soon scolded Rook but it was well known between them that in regard to gun care Rook was inept.

Rook glanced around awkwardly and waited. There was nothing he could do but wait. Dimitri had all but forgotten about Rook. IN a restrained panic he broke the gun into pieces. He could have very well fixed it by now but he might as well tune it up and give it a cleaning in the process. Who knows when he might see it next.

Too many seconds ticked by for Rook. He debated the idea of leaving and coming back later for it. Maybe that would be best. There was probably something he could be doing. Like not standing around feeling bad at his own job. His lips had just peeled open when Vladma made her entrance. There was no telling where that woman had just come from most days. Usually she popped around after a long night of sleeping off a hangover.

“возлюбленный! Come look at vat I found in shop.” She sauntered in through the back and marched her way to the table Dimitri fiddled away at. Setting her shopping bag on the table with neither paying mind to the other she rifled through her bag. This was common place in the armory. Vladma would hold entire conversations with herself while Dimitri worked away ignoring every word. And somehow they were the best of friends.

Finally revealed her prize winnings. Dangling from her paws was a simple black one piece swim suit with a serious lack of fabric. “I found very special undervearr. I haff never seen beforre.” Dimitri didn't even bother to look up and Vladma never expected him to. But Rook was another matter. Rook hadn't ever met Vladma before. And that was how it should be. She'd seen him walking alleys before but the key to succeeding as a sniper is hiding. He watched the two and the way they interacted was strange to him. How could anyone with reproductive genitalia ignore a woman that looked like that. She wasn't the cream of the crop but she wasn't a bad looker either and she was talking swim suits. Except she didn't seem to know it.

“Hate to bud in but I think ya mean swim suit.”

Rook's gruff voice alerted Vladma. She didn't panic like he probably expected her to. For sure she hadn't really seen him. He was like a shadow in her peripheral vision until he piped up. Unlike most Angels that have experienced mass murder Vladma was pretty good at turning it off. Little did he know, though, he was in for it now. He'd get to know Dimitri far better then he ever did before. “Eh? Ist not svim suit. I found in vimen's section of store vith oder undervearr. See, look.” She thrust the scanty fabric at the halfbreed who actually interacted with her. Rook wasn't prepared and like he had with Dimitri's invention he backed up and looked in surprise mostly due to the fact that the two inhabitants of the armory were so eerily similar. He chuckled a little as he raised a hand hand gestured the suit a few inches away.

“Heh yeah, I'm sure it's a swim suit.”

Vladma raised a brow and looked to him suspiciously. This wasn't the first time she's been fooled with lies. Even at her age, living in Lucent for so long, there was a lot of things she didn't know. “How do you know.” Her hand recoiled her purchase and examined it closely. Rook smirked, she was kinda cute in her ignorance. If it wasn't for the accent he'd have thought she was dumb but he knew there were places outside of Lucent. “The fabric. Feel it, it's not as soft.” If he could he would have recoiled his response. He sounded like some kind of pervert. But neither Vladma or Dimitri cared. She ran her fingers over the fabric and decided he was right. She rattled off a few native curses as her face curled and soured. “Vhy vould sell svim suit here?! Ist too cold even foarr me to swim.” Dimitri finally finished pampering his baby and hopped onto the table and handed Rook his gun.

Again Rook chuckled outright and slid the pistol back into his holster. “We do have a swimming pool here. And it's heated too, ya know. It's not a total waste”

Dimitri squealed again and bounced atop the table. “Yes! We could all go to the pool and swim for HOURS in the warm water!”

And just as he realized the stupid suggestion he made Vladma snuck her arm around his neck. There was no escape for him now. “Yes, ve vill all go and svim, da?”

Rook did his best to get out of it. And by best I mean before he could utter a word Vladma had drug Dimitri off the table and let his wriggling body dangle in her arm and did much the same to Rook and eased the group towards the door.
t
Dimitri had finally given up the fight and resigned himself to grumbling in his seat and plotting his escape. Rook and Vladma had taken to talking about past violent experiences and found out how close the two had been without meeting. But she never let her hand from the wrilie beast. Who knew what obscene plot to hijack the train with the C4 in his boot and demand his return to the Armory. The train finally stopped and the three left the train and walked the rest of the way to the pool.

Vladma was quick about changing. Clothes came off and the small black one piece that showed plenty of flesh slid on. From the locker room next door came shreiks and yells. It was comforting to have someone else go through the pains of wrangling Dimitri. She took a moment to check herself out in the mirrors. It wasn't what she thought it was but it was a damn good purchase nonetheless.

Waggling out into the pool area it was almost vacant. Mid day on a weekday didn't see very much visitors other then the occasional parent with child. But it was far from quiet. From the men's bathroom you could hear the clamoring then Rook's voice calling out and echoing on the walls. “You can't go out like that!” Dimitri then bolted from the men's locker room and with a reaction time you'd hope for Vladma caught the little bugger just as Rook appeared at the doorway and barked out “Catch 'im!”

Mothers slapped their hands of their children's eyes as Vladma trucked the wriggling halfbreed back into the men's locker room. Rook nervously motioned in apology to the innocent bystanders with nothing but cold glares in return. It was a little uncomfortable but nothing he wasn't used to by now. Just as he got back in he witnessed the large leopard plant the little eel monkey on the floor and sit on him. Try as he might he was smaller and he wasn't about to hurt her. His life wasn't in danger as much as he'd hate to admit it. The much larger feline purred at the little critter and loomed over him. “Now, you vill put on suit or I vill vax.... all hair I see, da?” She gave a tap to the little creature's nose as he nodded. Her rump rose above the rest of her and loomed enticingly as she had a glare off with her companion.

It was a strange way of handling things by far. But at least Rook got to enjoy the show--as uncomfortable as it made him to do it. He had a lover after all. And he wasn't the only one. Of few older patrons were expressing their pleasure under their towels. Rook found there were fewer places to look without feeling uncomfortable lately. Vladma stood fully and turned to saunter by the ArchAngel. A wink. It was like she was flirting with him. “He vill not be problem.”

Rook blinked and before he knew it the little Armory chief had clamored to his feet and was begging. “

Com'on Rook! You can't ruin my fun like that. You won't let her do it will you?!”

Rook chuckled and shook his head. “It's outta my hands.” He bent over and slid the trunks off the sink and tossed them at Dimitri.

Dimitri pouted as they landed on his face. Sulkily he dropped his legs through the holes and wriggled them onto his waist. Taking a deep breath he sighed but that was that. A clap of the hands and Dimitri was as giddy as ever. “Welp! Not point wastin' time here!” And he was off again. Like a flash he whizzed past Vladma and dove into the pool.

Her feet almost flew out from under her but thank god she kept her feet. Again Rook peeked out of the locker room and caught Vladma gazing at the water's edge. Heaving a heavy sigh he sank for a moment. What was he doing here. Why was he here with an attractive, half naked young woman and not at home with his loved one. Maybe he should give him a call and invite him over. Then maybe his conscience wouldn't be so heavy. He was just about to walk back into the Locker room but it was too late. Vladma caught eye of him and grabbed him by the arm. “Come you teach.”

Tugging at his arm the two walked to the pool and the next thing Rook knew Vladma was at his back pushing. He laughed and pushed back trying to keep them both from falling on their faces. “Alright alright just hold on a second here. I'm not as young as I look.”

Thank god she let up and instead took up the hands off approach. She moved next to him and shooed at him with her hands. He smiled and shook his head. She was just as crazy as Dimitri. It was slowly starting to make sense now.

His rump met the tiles before he slid himself into the water. It was warm and deep. It probably wasn't the best place to teach a novice swimmer. “You should probably--” he'd already been cut off my Vladma splashing into the water. Wiping the water from his face he looked to see if she was drowning. Luckily she was floundering to the surface and clinging to the pool side. He shook his head and motioned to the shallow end. “Head down there.” Vladma grinned and looked to the water. Her face wavered with fear and uncertainty rarely ever expressed on her face and ultimately decided the safer route—pawing herself along the edge of the pool till she could feel the ground beneath her paws.

His lesson was quick. She was a quick study. He went through the motions and before you knew it Vladma was swimming in the shallow end. But that was enough. She'd learned what she came to learn and she was done. Stroking her way towards Rook she inquired, “He hasn't come up forrr hourr now. Haff not seem him so happy eitherr.” Rook was watching Dimitri intently. He'd noticed it too but he supposed it wasn't so strange for a half eel. Dimitri had spent his hour whizzing about the pool, dodging and weaving under and around children and parents alike. By now he'd chased most of them off. All but a mother and her young boy who'd taken to playing games with the socially broken scratch.

Vladma noticed his intense gaze and, determined to disrupt it, pounced on the wolverine. Before Rook knew it he was underwater fighting for a breath. Wisely, Vladma released him and dodged out of the way. He rose to the surface and gasped for air with a groan. She was simply giggling submerged in water beside him. “Should relax. Ist no gut be so tense.”

“Tsh, I dunno how you can stay so cheery.”

“Vhy? Do you find it harrd?”

“Eh...with the world as it is I dunno how anyone sees a bright side.”

Vladma chuckled. “Silly man. I sure dere ist something in yourr life dat makes you happy.”

Rook sobered and thought that one over. She was right. He did have his daughter, and Zerek. They were like his family.

“Heh, yeah, but whadda you got? You're family's in a place I've never even heard of and the man who brought you here died years ago. And you sure as hell don't seem to have any attachment to Lucent or even the guild”

Vladma laughed this time. “Da, ist trrue. But I hast mien family herre. I hast him.” She pointed to Dimitri as he rocketed the little boy from the water. “Perhapps he's not meant forr love but ist like brrother. Little brrother forr has to take carre off.”

Blinking he looked to Vladma. Did he just catch what he thought she said. He looked between the two and tried to see the two together but it just wasn't an equation. It was like dividing by zero. He couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing. Vladma just wrinkled her nose and smirked. “Da? And who dast you love?”

He straightened up. And cleared his throat, she'd caught him with the same damned thing. “Uh...well this wonderful person I met and uh...yeah.” He didn't know any way out of this one but at least Dimitri had prepared him for this one. If he was lucky Vladma would be as easily fooled.

“Und vat ist herr name?” Unlucky for him she wasn't as easily fooled and leaned closer in interest. Rook really didn't know how to answer that one. Would it even be smart to tell the truth? He didn't know her that well but who else could she tell? His brain froze and Vladma was quick.

“Not going to say? Fine, keep secret.” She backed to the edge of the pool and raised herself out. Rook watched the layers of water shed from her body. This was really starting to get to him. Her turned back and sighed heavily to himself. Except Vladma caught ear of it. She was smart enough to guess too.

“You feel bad be herre da?”

Rook was a bit surprised and looked back to her looming over him. “Eh, well not's not that I don't like ya'll—e-I mean you're a good lookin gal it's just--” He was at a bit of a loss for words but before he dug himself into a hole he couldn't get out of she cut him off.

“You feel bad for looking. Ist not problem.” She crouched only compacting his embarrassment and yet to prove a point. The guilt was clear as day on his face and she smiled. It was a good thing to see it there. Most men she new didn't know what guilt was.

“Ist like mother said as young girrl. Ist da feeling of guilt dat tells you ist in lov, not lust.” She stood and mad eher way around to the deep end and called out to Dimitri leaving Rook with something to think about. He didn't hear a word. Or, perhaps he didn't listen to one. She resorted to cannon balling off the side of the pool to get his attention.

The three hung around for a while longer talking about this and that. Eventually an employee appeared at the pool side and alerted Vladma and Rook—being the only two who had an appropriately lengthened attention span-- that it was closing time for the pool. The two hopped out bur Dimitri insisted to remain. The three stood and watched the amazing speed for a while.

“Is he ever gonna come up for air?” The prepubescent employee inquired. Vladma and Rook laughed to each other knowing the answer. The Employee looked to them confused until he slowly walked toward the clearly marked 'EMPLOYEE ONLY' door.

“So how are we gonna get 'im outta there Vlad?”

She thought for a moment before a smirk curled the side of her face. Trotting after the young goat she stopped him just in front of the door. Rook watched her gestures trying to figure out what she had planned but they gave little clue. He could read her lips either since her back was turned. This time he's have to wait and see. It took a while but the goat nodded uneasily and left through the door. Confidently Vladma strutted back towards Rook and he was all the more curious.

“What was that about?”

Vladma prduced the most devious giggle ever known to man. “Just vait. You'll see.” The minutes ticked by and Rook could feel the temperature drop slightly with every one. Soon enough Dimitri rocketed from the water and flopped onto the tiles wailing as if he was melting from acid. Vladma simply giggled deviously.

“Vladma!! Soh cold~.” He sounded like he was either going to unleash the armory on her or cry on the wet tiles.

“Ist time to go! Put varm clothes.” Normally there'd be an end to that sentence but when talking to Dimitri under these circumstances there's only so much you need to say. Dimitri floundered and flopped trying to gain tread on the slippery tiles with is hands. Slapping the tiles he clamored into the locker room.

“Rook, perrhaps vant go get drink?” She glanced to him with a sly look in her eyes.

“But we can't take Dimitri. You know that right?”

She started her saunter towards the women's locker room. “Vill not tell. Brring him home den ve can go to yourr place.” She framed her profile on the door just so as she winked at him flirtatiously and dissapeared into the lockeroom before Rook could say a word.

It wasn't a bad idea but....what did she mean by 'my place'.

[Vespa]

Holy crap it's long. >.<

Sorry guys. It's long and only kinda bad. It didn't go anywhere near where I wanted it to and it ended up WAY more serous then I wanted. I guess that's what happens when you put Rook into it??

I probably butchered him anyway. And Dimitri. Sorry he's not really in there but it's what I felt Dimitri would be like AND I don't think I could possibly make up his speaking mannerisms.

I suck at this game.
>.<

[Rook]

--You do not!

First of all, you wrote Rook well, I diddn't see any problems with his character, other than he has an aversion to swimming and water in general (but It's not in his bio, and we've only had one thread together so I wouldn't expect you to know that.) Vladma's character is a joy to read, (I love her accent ! <3) , and Dimitri's was as well, I can't speak for raron, but I think you had him spot on, especially the part in the pool where he's right at home and the part where he goes beserk over Rook's jammed gun. xD

The whole story was cute, funny and well written, a pleasure to read, plus the bit of seriousness near the end gave it a fulfilling conclusion and there is no reason you should feel bad about it, you did a great job on every front, while there were a few spelling errors and typos, nothing major at all, and it certainly diddn't keep the story from being enioyable.

A plus ^___^ -hugs-

PS: I just realized that Rook has a Texas accent, just like me.

LoL I was completely unaware of that.

[light]

Nice work Vespa! Love the seductive feel of it, and the chemistry between Rookie pooh and Vladma! I always knew he was a stud!

By the way, I have hopefully edited my story pertaining to the characters themselves, as well as adding on more flesh...tell me if you think there's something I forgot and I'll fix it!

[Vespa]

Woo hoo! I guess I did get what I wanted out of it. Thanks guys.

I blame all typos on late night typing! >.<

And I like the changes Light, but Aidith doesn't have antlers.

HOLY SNAP! I totally forgot about that. The 'pet name' thing up there is totally supposed to be what Vladma calls Dimitri but I can't remember what that is. I'll fix it when I remember. No she's not crazy...not that crazy. xD

[Rook]

xDDD how about something Russian-sounding ish?