|
|
Post by Rook on Aug 16, 2008 0:50:28 GMT -5
For the past three days, Rook's life had been confused, uncomfortable and lonely. He hadn't realized how much he hung out with Zarek until he was forced to sit alone in the Mess hall, he had other friends but he diddn't seem to have any initiative to talk to them, he was just used to having Zarek hanging on him like a cracked out limpet.
Needless to say, everyone assumed what was bothering him was the eve of his wife's death drawing closer and closer, it did play a large part, but it was over shadowed by the fact that the incident that had occured in that hospital wing was left unresolved, confused and they had both left angrily.
No doubt Jamie had noticed his change in mood, those looks she gave him, but she diddn't ask. Apparently secrets ran in the family.
He kept playing over moments he had spent with the man, trying to pick out any hints he could have gotten. But no, even there had been any he'd been too distracted by Cleo's death as well as his job to notice them. In fact, though he enjoyed Zarek's company he often tuned the tiger out when he was reading or day dreaming.
But after that battle...the closeness and protectiveness, surely it had all just been friendly? Good friends certainly, but just friends...
He could stop thinking about it, couldn't get that damn kiss, or that damn tiger out of his head, and it was driving him crazy.
No craziness could stand up to three glasses of Julian scotch on and empty stomach however, and soon he was out like a light.
Rook slept on his side, it was early evening and he usually diddn't go to sleep this early, but he felt he'd needed a nap just to take a break from his own harried thoughts, which had been chewing viciously at him, everything he thought seemed to be the opposite of how it should have been, but at least sleep was constant.
He dreamnt of Cleo, as he always did, a bittersweet taste in his mouth, and mind, her scent lingered, though no specific images drew up, the dream was definitley about her, and it was as always, an unsettled sleep.
|
|
|
|
Post by texas on Aug 16, 2008 1:03:52 GMT -5
After the indecent in the infirmary Zarek had noticed that Rook had been avoiding him. The wolverine had not come see him since then. It wasn't like the tiger could move around much either. The nurse had finally let him go after three days after he had promised to come in everyday until they said he could stop.
Sitting in his lab he bounced his foot up and down on the bottom rung. He really hadn't done anything but mope around his rooms the whole day. Trying to work out some modifications to the hover boards that the Angels owned his mind kept on drifting back to Rook. Finally giving up he threw his pencil on the ground and exited his lab into the hall. Walking quickly he burst into Rook's room before he could think again. Spotting his friend sleeping in his bed he walked over to it and tore the sheets off of him with one yank.
"You get out of that bed right now and you talk to me! I am sick, of you trying to avoid me. What's done is done, and you can't change it. We need to talk before this gets any worse. Now pull your head out of your ass and listen up. Yes, I have liked you as more than a friend for a long time, and yes I know that I shouldn't have kissed you, but I would rather act like nothing happened then have to hid from me."
|
|
|
|
Post by Rook on Aug 16, 2008 1:18:26 GMT -5
Rook was given a rude awakening, he was so suprised that Zarek was actually here that he almost came off the bed with the covers and simultaneously got himself tangled in them, scrabbling he kicked them off him, almost angrily he blinked and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes looking up at the tiger warily. He should have known this would happen, Zarek wasn't the same kind of person, he diddn't hide from his feelings and wasn't afraid to speak his mind. Rook wasn't into sugarcoating things for other people, but he had a healthy little wall of self deception built up in his brain, and Zarek was systematically tearing it down.
None of this was like him either, he'd been so out of character lately, he was supposed to be yelling right about now, wasn't he?
He shook his head "Why do you have to be so loud about everything"? he sighed, a flash of anger coming over him, anger he had been holding in for a long time for reasons he couldn't guess.
"You want to talk?!, fine I'll talk to you".
He got up, and looked the tiger dead in the eye his face perilously close to the feline's. "I don't know what the hell to think, let alone to say, unlike you I don't always have everything worked out in some brilliant master plan, unlike you I don't function well when someone throws a fucking atom bomb at me all from out of nowhere.
You think I'm being inconsiderate? Consider this, we've been friends for more than a decade and it never passed through your thick skull to tell me about this? No, instead we'll go for the shock value and freak out the disconnected, feeling-less wolverine, I'm sure he'll take whatever he can get, get swept off his damn feet, after not fucking in more than ten years".
Okay, that wasn't the "you fucking retard, I am not a homo"! speech Rook had been looking for, it actually sounded a lot more hurt and...feelingly...than he had at first planned. Especially that last part, which he had kind of blurted out without thinking.
Shit.
Nothing was going right, and predictably, the shadow of that horrendous blush returned again, and Rook turned his back on the tiger, wary of it.
|
|
|
|
Post by texas on Aug 16, 2008 20:44:49 GMT -5
As Rook ranted on Zarek's anger began to simmer down. He really had just thrown everything at his friend at once. The whole thing had really not been planned out, it had just kind of happened. Sighing as Rook turned his back the tiger ran his paw through his hair.
"You're right Rook. I guess I should have tried to let you know in a better way. I wasn't just going for the shock factor, or figuring that you hadn't been laid in ten years so you would go for it.... To tell you the truth... I was frightened. I guess being so close to death made me see what really was important to me and that was... well you." Biting his lower lip Zarek looked around the room.
"You know this might be easier if you actually looked at me because right now I really do not know how to gauge your reaction and it is making me nervous. Can you just look at me please?" He was almost most whispering now, afraid of what might happen.
|
|
|
|
Post by Rook on Aug 17, 2008 16:51:15 GMT -5
Rook flinched inwardly at Zarek's voice, it sounded like, fuck, it sounded the way someone put things when they were...well when they were in love...was what it sounded like.
But now it was out in the open and then it became threatening.
He could only once remember being as scared and nervous as he had been the night Zarek had spent in the infirmary and that was when he had of course, found out his wife was sick and there was a good chance she wouldn't make it through the birth.
Zarek's "last request" had sickened him with it's similarity to the words Cleo had spoken to him, when she'd opted for Jamie over her own life and Rook was powerless to to help her. How could he choose his wife over his daughter, or any other way around? There was no way to save both of them, so he'd left it up to Cleo and of course she had loved her daughter more than herself even before seeing Jamie with her own eyes.
That weak, powerfully desperate feeling had been almost exactly the same.
...but there was the fact that Zarek happened to be a male, and he Rook, was also a male, since he'd last checked, that complicated matters pretty thickly.
But does it really? How much? For what reason?
It wasn't like he'd read some gay hand book, he diddn't know much about those kind of relationships at all, it was just the supposed threat to his masculinity that bothered him. Then again, Zarek wasn't flamboyant at all, and yet he could say this...
None of this inner rambling really made him turn around, it all brought back to Zarek's voice, he found himself obliging, despite the redness lingering on his usually rigid features.
"...I don't know Zarek"
He said slowly, chasing the traces of nervousness out of his voice, and then lowered his eyes to meet the tiger's again, hopefully with better results than last time.
"I do know I was scared to death a couple of days ago for what it's worth...more than I've been on any other mission actually, ever, and not because of the bullets flying past my head".
He hesitated for a second, and then went with his gut and put one of his paws on Zarek's shoulder. They should both just keep calm, Rook felt there was so much tension he might be responsible for two minor heart attacks.
|
|
|
|
Post by texas on Aug 17, 2008 19:59:56 GMT -5
"I'm really sorry I pushed this on you. I never want you to feel forced to do anything. I just simply want to get my view out there and you can choose to have this go which ever way you want. I was only being fair to both of us by letting you know you do have a lot of options in your life."
Running his paw through Rook's hair Zarek pulled the other close to him, but only rested their foreheads together. He wasn't going to push his friend into doing anything, he was going to sit back and let things go the way they went without any interference. This was all about the wolverine right now.
|
|
|
|
Post by Rook on Aug 17, 2008 20:16:15 GMT -5
Rook made himself relax, the tension in his shoulders dropping as Zarek pulled him into this---whatever this was--no, it was obviously an embrace. Rook tried to remember the last time he'd been...embraced by someone who wasn't his daughter, and he felt a twinge of deep inexplicable sadness, when no memories came to him.
He was disconnected, he knew it, and he was miserable. Zarek was offering him, perhaps a chance at happiness that he had never thought of before, as strange and unfamiliar as the other man's touch was Rook was no doubt, warmed by it, as he had been by the kiss before reality had set in and bared it's fangs.
I care about him. he thought but can I really do this again? with...a ....man?
There was only one way to find out. Responding to Zarek's touch, he leaned forward his cheek brushing the tiger's own soft fur and resting his head briefly on Zarek's strong shoulder.
Pretty obviously strong, the muscles underneath made the masculinity clear, it wasn't like a woman at all, but
nevertheless...
He pulled back slightly and then leaned forward again this time kissing Zarek and letting his arms wrap around his waist, much the same way he'd kissed Rook in the hospital, but closer now and less harried.
It was different, but Rook liked it, almost as much as he liked the tiger himself.
|
|
|
|
Post by texas on Aug 17, 2008 20:25:51 GMT -5
Zarek was surprised when Rook let his head rest on his shoulder and even more surprised when the wolverine kissed him. Keeping his paw on the back of Rook's head he just let it rest their as his other paw moved around his friend's waste.
The urge to make the kiss even deeper was wiggling its slimy way into his head and the tiger was doing his best to not pay any attention to it. Who knew what would happen if he did that. Rook was skittish as it was, there was no telling how he would react it Zarek tried to make him go any farther.
|
|
|
|
Post by Rook on Aug 17, 2008 20:36:10 GMT -5
Rook, through the pleasant cloud that was fogging up his head now, could sense Zarek was getting nervous, and frankly he was confused by it. Should he stop?
He diddn't want to force the tiger into anything, even if it was just a quick bout of affection, he'd assumed this was what he'd wanted. Maybe he'd been wrong..
Reluctantly, he pulled back from the kiss, the wretched blush heating his face
No. Absolutely not. Begone!
Unfortunately his body did not listen to him. It never had. He looked down uncomfortably "I...I'm sorry..."
What was this shit? Why did the god damn tiger make him so nervous, it was a kiss, not a nuclear weapon.
|
|
|
|
Post by texas on Aug 17, 2008 20:51:41 GMT -5
Letting Rook pull away Zarek was slightly confused as to why the wolverine was apologizing to him. After all, he had done nothing wrong.
"There is no need to apologize. I mean that was great." The tiger chuckled. "If the women knew you where that good of a kisser I think they would kill me if they found out I was trying to steal you out from underneath them and draft you for the other team."
|
|
|
|
Post by Rook on Aug 17, 2008 21:17:25 GMT -5
Rook growled gruffly, beginning to feel more like himself, usually Zarek's babbling made him roll his eyes, but right now he welcomed it, because it was a releif to the tension.
Also it did wonders for his pathetic self esteem to be called a good kisser.
"Compliments will get you..."
He raised an eyebrow. "Well everywhere, actually". He bit his lip "I guess doing this means I'll technically be of the bisexual persuasion". That sounded so weird coming out of his mouth and frankly it freaked him out, Rook made a face.
"Er. I'll work on that"...
|
|
|
|
Post by texas on Aug 17, 2008 21:22:27 GMT -5
"You could say you are straight, except for one guy. That might make everything sound better to you." Zarek suggested a smirk forming on his lips.
"Or you could just say that you are falling for another Angel and leave it at that. Because, personally, I don't think that anything should hold back love. Whether it be a law, or age, or breed, or sex. Love is infinite and can happen to anyone at any place or time."
|
|
|
|
Post by Rook on Aug 17, 2008 21:42:25 GMT -5
"How poetic. you know I'm beginning to get worried that my "exception" is going to be a brainless, hippy ..."A smirk came into his eyes, though his features pursed in a thoughtful frown.
He let himself sit back on the bed, enjoying the turn of the conversation. The talk of deep love diddn't bother him all that much, even starting out like this, after all if he hadn't already cared about the tiger int he first place he wouldn't have consented to this... at least the tiger hadn't mentioned sex.
Shouldn't be long before it comes up though, that'll be a lovely awkward mess of a conversation... Yes, he could see problems ahead already, but right now he was enjoying Zarek's tacky romantic babble for the first time in a couple of days.
He really had missed the tiger horribly, as reluctant as he'd been to admit it.
What Zarek said touched Rook, with it's certain naivety, but it bothered him. Because before Cleo had died he'd thought exactly the same things.
"How much do you know about love Zarek"?
|
|
|
|
Post by texas on Aug 17, 2008 21:53:41 GMT -5
"This might surprise you but I know quite a little bit about love. It is the whole reason I came to be an Angel. Well not really, but it did play a big part in it. You don't know everything about me Mutt."
Zarek winked at Rook and flopped down on the bed. Stretching out he yawned. As much as he would like to keep the conversation up the tiger was tired. He had not been able to sleep well ever since he had first kissed his friend. Now that it was mostly settled though it felt like a weight had been lifted from him shoulders and he was exhausted from carrying it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Rook on Aug 17, 2008 22:18:59 GMT -5
I have a sneaking suspicion that's going to come up again he said sticking out his tongue at Zarek in response to the "mutt" thing. Usually when someone called him that he reacted violently, when someone who just kissed him three minuites ago used that common racial slur Rook actually thought it was kind of cute.
Huh. Go figure.
Rook could see Zarek was tired, and he briefly entertained the thought of telling him to stay the night. But wouldn't that give him the wrong idea?
And any attempt to explain it would probably only offend and confuse the tiger more. However he wasn't supposed to be over exerting himself, as he was still recovering from those injuries.
Ah hell, Zarek could think what he wanted, Rook was sick of behaving like a frightened rabbit, a couple of days of it was enough.
"You can sleep over here if you want" he offered "I mean, we should probably...not move too fast, but I wouldn't mind being your room mate for the night...your not supposed to be moving around so much".
Damn, that was awkward.
|
|
