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Post by Rook on Sept 1, 2008 4:17:47 GMT -5
*You have to put their actual age
*Saint isn't an occupation.
Sorry ^^'
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Post by Rook on Sept 3, 2008 7:49:56 GMT -5
I liked it, it's a fabulous start, my only qualms is that five years is very young to become an Elder Angel, even by normal standards, and also in your History there's a lot of repetition with the same words throwing off the flow of the story for example using the "Hard way" or side of life too often, try to think of another phrase to emphasize it or just say it once.
Also, Basil wouldn't need to go through such excessive means to stay secret, she can, to the general public but being a Seraph is representing Angels, meaning she'd probably have to speak to the Council in some kind of meeting, and she'd be well known.
Just edit this a little and she'll be accepted.
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Post by Rook on Sept 12, 2008 13:47:36 GMT -5
Accepted! First Seraphim woot!
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